1. A security guard walks down the hall outside my office. I hear the buzz of his two-way radio, signalling an incoming message. I stop typing away at my computer, look up from my desk and tilt my head to hear the communiqué. Surely it’s something juicy, mysterious – a breach of security, perhaps, or a suspicious character lurking in the bushes outside. “There’s cake in the kitchen,” comes the muffled voice. “Cake in the kitchen,” he repeats amidst the static. And by the time I reach the door of my office to look out into the hall, the security guard has disappeared. No doubt hot on the trail of cake.
2. I am driving home when a glow sign catches my eye: SELF-SERVE DOG WASH. Really? I cannot wait to see the dogs line up, clutching their shampoo and waiting for a free shower.
3. When my doctor’s office puts callers on hold, they play the elevator music version of Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond over and over. They’ve been doing this for years (quite possibly since the elevator version of Sweet Caroline was first released). Can this be good for anyone’s health?